The Mortuary Assistant Switch Nsp -eshop- -

I thought the Switch version would be tamer. Handheld mode, brightness halfway down, cat on my lap. Comfort horror.

I heard a locker slam in the hallway behind me. Not in-game. In my actual hallway. The cat arched. The Switch vibrated once—a low, guttural pulse that didn’t match any controller rumble I’ve felt before. The screen displayed a single line of text: The Mortuary Assistant Switch NSP -eShop-

The game doesn’t let bodies move. I read the patch notes. They don’t move. I thought the Switch version would be tamer

The demon is among the bodies. You must identify it, perform the correct rites, and survive until dawn. Trust no one. Not the security footage. Not the whispered calls from the cooler. Not even yourself. I heard a locker slam in the hallway behind me

Five stars. Never playing again. The Mortuary Assistant is out now on the Nintendo eShop. Download if you dare. And if the game asks for your blood type… lie.

Horror Simulation / Psychological Thriller File Size: 2.1 GB Supported Play Modes: Handheld, Tabletop, TV Mode (Headphones Mandatory)

I saved. I quit. I deleted the NSP from my SD card. But the icon stayed on my home menu for three hours. And when I finally went to sleep, I dreamed I was embalming myself.