Luna just stared at him. Then she laughed. It was a sound like wind chimes falling down stairs.
She shook her head. “No. The most important thing is this: I’m not waiting for a man who arrives on a storm. I’m waiting for the man who sees a storm coming, realizes he forgot his umbrella, and comes to my door anyway. Cold, miserable, and completely unprepared.”
Julian looked down at himself. For the first time, he wasn’t performing. He was just… there. And the terrifying part was, he didn’t want to leave.
“Easy money,” Julian murmured, studying her photograph. She was pretty in a chaotic way – ink-stained fingers, eyes that looked like they’d just seen a ghost. She was a walking, talking trigger for his particular brand of poison. Romantic Killer
“I can’t stay,” he whispered. “I’m the Romantic Killer.”
He arrived on a Tuesday, the sky the color of dishwater. He’d rented the cottage next to her windmill, posing as a visiting ornithologist. His opening gambit was flawless: accidental meeting by the fence, a dropped book of Sylvia Plath poems (she’d love the tortured aesthetic), a self-deprecating joke about his “soulless spreadsheet of a life.”
He introduced a charming, handsome “old friend” (a professional actor) to flirt with her. Luna looked the actor up and down, yawned, and asked if he knew the difference between a raven and a crow. The actor did not. She turned back to Julian and whispered, “Your friend’s a dummy. You, however, are a very smart dummy.” Luna just stared at him
“That’s my thing,” she replied. “Romance isn’t blindness, Julian. It’s hyper-awareness. I see the crack in your teacup, the way you breathe only through your left nostril when you lie, and the fact that you have a concealed tape recorder in your jacket pocket. Let me guess – you’re here to prove my love is a delusion?”
And somewhere in a converted windmill, a former realist learned that the only thing harder than killing a romance was surviving one.
“You’re very good,” she said, tilting her head. “The scruffy stubble is a nice touch. But your shoes are brand new Italian leather. Ornithologists don’t wear shoes that cost more than my car.” She shook her head
He tried everything. The next day, he “accidentally” let her overhear a fake phone call about a “client who fell for a yoga instructor who turned out to be a cult leader.” She nodded sympathetically and offered him a slice of sourdough bread she’d baked that morning. It was, infuriatingly, the best bread he’d ever tasted.
The world knew him as the Romantic Killer . Not because he left a trail of broken hearts, but because he left a trail of perfectly intact, utterly bored hearts. Julian Cole was a professional “realist” for hire. A wealthy heiress swooning over a fortune-hunting poet? Julian would arrive, dismantle the illusion with surgical precision, and present the smoldering wreckage as a receipt. He was expensive, emotionless, and never failed.