“Yeah,” he said. And for once, he didn’t say it like a lie.
That was the motto of being seventeen. Maybe. Not yes, because yes meant commitment, and commitment meant the possibility of failure. Not no, because no meant closing a door, and every open door was a future you couldn’t afford to burn. So: maybe. The coward’s gold.
Rocco’s jaw tightened until his molars screamed. He wasn’t angry. He was a pressure cooker with a welded-shut lid. The anger was just the steam. What lived underneath was worse: a raw, skinned-knee terror that he was already becoming his father. That the short fuse, the slammed doors, the silence that ate entire rooms—it was all just code. DNA waiting to boot up.
He picked up his phone. Leo’s text still glowed. “Party at the point.” rocco-s pov 17
He slid down the doorframe until he was sitting on the threadbare carpet. His room was a museum of a younger self: guitar picks that no longer inspired him, a half-finished model of a ’69 Charger, a stack of college brochures he hadn’t opened. Everyone kept asking, “What do you want to do with your life?” As if seventeen was supposed to be the answer and not the question itself.
He walked out into the September dusk, the air sharp with the promise of autumn. Seventeen was not an answer. Seventeen was a bridge, and he was standing in the middle, the past a dim shoreline behind him, the future a fog he couldn’t see through. But the wind on his face felt like something. Like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t broken. Like maybe he was just becoming.
His mother’s knock came. Two soft raps. “Yeah,” he said
He hadn’t known how to explain that the shaking was relief. That he’d been holding his breath since the day his dad left, and her lips had made him exhale. So he’d laughed, said something stupid like “It’s cold in here,” and left the closet. He’d walked home alone in the rain, hating himself for running away from the one person who might actually see him.
“Roo? Meatloaf’s in an hour.”
He smiled—a small, crooked thing—and started walking toward the point. So: maybe
“Ma,” he said, leaning over the railing.
“He’s just so angry,” she whispered, her voice a razor blade wrapped in tissue. “I don’t know this person anymore.”
Downstairs, his mother hung up. He heard her blow her nose, then run the faucet to cover the sound. She would come up in a minute, knock twice—gentle, apologetic—and ask if he wanted meatloaf. She would pretend her eyes weren’t red. He would pretend not to notice. That was their love language: the art of the graceful lie.