Shrek.movie: New

He was never meant to be this comfortable.

…that’s just accurate critique.

Beat.

PUSS IN BOOTS (grey-muzzled, wearing a tiny eye patch over one eye now, still dramatic) leaps onto the cart.

Here’s a concept for a new Shrek movie, written in the style of an official logline and opening scene tease. new shrek.movie

That’s the problem, baby! You’re on your third oatmeal . You used to eat knights for breakfast! But now? Now you’re one bad back away from ordering a walking stick from the QVC catalog for ogres.

Twenty years after trading his swamp for peace and quiet, a restless and empty-nesting Shrek is dragged by Donkey on a chaotic road trip across the outer realms of Far Far Away to find a legendary “Funk-El” flower — only to discover that the real villain isn’t a lord or a fairy-tale monster, but middle-aged irrelevance itself. He was never meant to be this comfortable

Sí. The Map of Lost Spark. It leads to the Flor de Funk-El — a mystical bloom said to restore wonder, spontaneity, and the ability to laugh at a fart joke even when you’ve heard it a thousand times.

SHREK, 50s, softer around the middle, with reading glasses and a fishing rod, sits on his outhouse-turned-patio. PUSS IN BOOTS (grey-muzzled, wearing a tiny eye