Kaito Tanaka died as he lived: unremarkably, behind a counter.

"Celestial silicone," he said, naming the material on the fly. "Enchanted to feel warm. No flesh touches flesh. Technically, you're still oath-bound."

The moment Seraphine touched it, the wand glowed with a soft, divine light. She gasped.

Then, on the fourth night, she arrived.

He hired staff: a gossipy harpy for customer service, a stoic golem for security, and a retired alchemist who was thrilled to learn the molecular properties of modern lubricants.

For three days, no one came. They stared. They sniffed. A paladin spat on his rug.

Kaito, who had dealt with a thousand embarrassed customers back on Earth, simply nodded. "What's the issue?"

"Stay for dinner?"

Post-credits scene: The golem, now sentient, opens its own competitive shop across the street called "The Rusty Hinge." It does surprisingly well.

It worked. Ember sighed in relief, a wave of cool air filling the shop.

It was Ember, a young fire dragon in human guise. She had a problem: her flame sac was located directly behind her heart, and during mating seasons, pressure built up until she involuntarily set her bedding on fire.

He awoke not in heaven or hell, but in an alley that smelled of wet griffin and cheap mana wine.