At the very back of the gallery, in a small, softly lit room, is the piece I’m still working on. It’s called The Future . There’s no image yet. Just a blank, primed canvas. Sometimes I stare at it for hours. Some days I want to paint a marriage license. Some days, a photograph of a child with my eyes and his smile. Other days, just a door—open, with light pouring through.
Walking into my own gallery for the first time was terrifying. Because for thirty years, someone else had been curating the show. My parents hung the family portraits. My teachers installed the dioramas of “normal” futures. The church mounted a giant, gilded painting of a man burning in a lake of fire, labeled Consequences .
The first piece is called First Touch . It’s not a photograph. It’s the ghost of a feeling—the electric shock of a hand on the small of my back at a bar. The way my spine turned to liquid mercury. The way I leaned in instead of running away. You can’t see it. You have to feel the warmth still radiating from the canvas.
Now, I think of it as a gallery.
And then, maybe, go build your own gallery.
And the first piece? It can be anything you want.
Here hangs First Pride . It’s a riot of color—sequins and leather and a thousand rainbows. The crowd is a blur of motion. In the center, a boy with glitter on his nose is laughing so hard he’s crying. That’s me. For the first time, I am not the “gay friend” or the “disappointment” or the “sinner.” I am just a boy, laughing in the sun, surrounded by thousands of people who also used to be alone in a crowded room. gallery gay blog
Come walk through my gallery. See the boy I was. Meet the man I’m becoming. Laugh at the glitter. Grieve the dark paintings. Stay a while in the quiet room where two mugs sit on a counter.
So this is my blog now. Not a diary. Not a manifesto. An invitation.
Even a door.
Next to it is Domestic Bliss , a small, quiet watercolor. Two mugs on a counter. One says “Daddy” ironically. The other is just chipped blue ceramic. A cat sleeping on a pile of laundry. A text that says, “Pick up bread?” It’s the most radical painting in the whole gallery. Because my grandmother told me I would die of AIDS, alone in a hospital. Instead, I’m arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Boring. Beautiful. Revolutionary.
Because the most terrifying and beautiful thing I’ve learned is this: you don’t have to live in someone else’s museum anymore. You get to be the artist. You get to be the curator. You get to decide what hangs on the walls.
Next to it hangs The Year I Lost My Family . It’s a large, dark piece. Almost abstract. Splatters of navy and charcoal. In the corner, tiny figures walk away, their backs turned. For a long time, I wanted to take this painting down. Burn it. But I’ve learned that the darkest paintings make the bright ones brighter. They add depth. They tell the truth. The gallery isn’t a highlight reel. It’s a whole life. At the very back of the gallery, in
I used to think of my life as a timeline. A straight line, actually—the kind they drew on the chalkboard in health class. You’re born, you go to school, you marry a woman, you buy a house with a lawn, you die. Simple. Beige. The path was so narrow it gave me blisters.
The thing about a gallery is that it’s never finished. You don’t open and then close. You keep creating. You keep hanging new work. Some nights, you have to take down an old painting because you’ve outgrown it. Some nights, you just sit on the floor in the middle of the room, surrounded by the mess of your own history, and cry. And that’s okay. That’s curation.